Since the 19th century, when motivational science began, scientists have focused on what makes us endure hardships and achieve what we want. The focus was on how to let go of desires and why we should let go. They call this process “goal withdrawal,” and Gabriele Ettingen, a research psychologist at New York University, says it has been treated as the “black sheep” of the field.
How did this happen? Western cultural prejudices celebrate persistence and achievement, so abandoning a goal is seen as a “failure,” says Kathleen Kappes, a psychologist at the University of Hildesheim in Germany. Kappes is a guest collaborator on the December 2022 issue. motivation and emotions, It is entirely dedicated to the advancement of goal liberation science. This problem exemplifies an expansive motion to correct this neglect.
This job is primarily focused on long-term goals that are central to our lives and identities, such as completing a degree, finding a spouse, or becoming a homeowner. Some may have short-term goals, such as training to run a marathon, but they all require dedication, effort, and sacrifice.
Constant research and daily experience teach us that overcoming obstacles in order to ultimately succeed is essential to our well-being. to learning to walk to a law school graduate who eventually passes the bar.
But it’s not all trial and error. What the latest science has shown us is the importance of abandoning ambition when it becomes too high, or the feasibility plummets, or both. Given the long-term emphasis on the value of persistence, the question immediately arises. Is letting go as important as perpetuating? It’s hard to know. The most important thing for our well-being is “the optimal interaction between both processes,” says Kappes.
The ability to set goals, pursue them despite setbacks, and stop them as circumstances change is adaptive and healthy. So does finding and committing to meaningful new aspirations. Some of us are much better at doing one or both of these things, but how well we do them can dramatically affect our emotional and physical health.
To gauge how our natural ability to do both of these things affects people’s lives, Carsten Wrosch, a professor of psychology at Concordia University in Quebec and Professor Emeritus Michael Shire of Carnegie Mellon University Developed the Goal Adjustment Scale (GAS). Ask people how they would react if they were forced to stop pursuing an important goal. One self-assessment component declares: I can’t let go. ‘ Another says, ‘I’m looking for other meaningful goals.
GAS measures both people’s ability to discourage and their ability to find and commit to new goals. Wrosch said these are complementary but different features. Letting go means withdrawing both commitment and effort. This prevents repeated failures and reduces stress, depression, and intrusive thoughts. Committing to new ambitions and working towards them creates a sense of purpose in life and reduces feelings of failure.
Certain personality traits are associated with these abilities. “An optimist may feel, ‘My life is going to get better again,’ which makes it easier to let go and work on new goals again,” Brosh says. Psychologist Lucas Keller said he and a colleague at the University of Konstanz in Germany “Habitual planners (if-then thinkers) can be difficult to let go, but once they are free, they are good at finding and pursuing new endeavors.”
armed with scales To measure our ability to adjust our goals, scientists have studied its effects. A 2019 meta-analysis of 31 samples overwhelmingly showed that people who are good at letting go have better endocrine and immune system function, better health behaviors, and fewer physical problems. I’m here. People who are good at pursuing new goals are healthier and perform better physically under emotional distress.
Two studies are particularly impressive in this regard. A study conducted by Wrosch and his colleagues compared his two groups of parents. Children in the first group had cancer and children in the second group were healthy. Parents of healthy children were generally less depressed. However, parents of children with cancer reported higher levels of depression when they were unable to get rid of the cancer or fight back. In contrast, their counterparts who were able to leave and reengage had lower depressive symptoms, as did parents of healthy children.
Another study followed 135 adults between the ages of 64 and 90 for about six years of their lives when physical decline often prevented them from performing certain desired activities. People with high liberation scores had generally lower depressive symptoms and did not get worse. Those with lower scores became depressed over time, reaching levels of depression requiring clinical evaluation and possible intervention at the end of the multi-year period.
Through various studies, Wrosch and his colleagues found that the ability to release was associated with both reduced cortisol levels and improved immune function. The ability to release and re-engage with goals can be of paramount importance in safeguarding well-being and health,” he says.
When we set career and relationship goals that are so closely tied to our identity, it can be difficult to give them up in the face of insurmountable barriers. I invested, tried multiple fertility treatments, tried to conceive, and sold the invention. Deciding when or if to give up is not easy. In fact, it can be a long and complicated process, with people torn between the need to hold on and the need to let go. We call this struggle a “behavioral crisis.” The decision to stay or leave is made on three levels: behavioral (what you’ve put in), cognitive (continuously assessing your progress and outlook), and emotional (whether or not you still care about your goals).
Such crises are rare. In his 2017 unpublished survey of 100 senior executives conducted by Brandstätter-Morawietz, 60% said they experienced a behavioral crisis at the moment and 10% said they had experienced a crisis before. says there is. “Of course, this data is not representative,” she says.
If you literally can’t do anything about your goals and are ruminating (as happened to many who lost their jobs during the COVID pandemic), researchers found that a higher proportion of these “frozen goals” , found that sticking to them leads to greater stress. , depression and anxiety. Such people stopped striving toward their goals but were not cognitively or emotionally liberated.
A sense of being out of control can influence such outcomes.Experiment by psychology researcher Zita Mayer and colleagues at the University of Zurich It showed that when subjects shelved one of two desired goals and had the option to return to the shelved goal later, they had less regret than those who gave up one of the goals permanently.
Cognitive strategies exist to help people get stuck in the pursuit of futile goals. Some work by helping to reassess the feasibility and desirability of goals. Mindfulness can do this. It works by keeping people free from defensiveness and judgment, and open to information that may not be welcome, but is important to accurately assess the likelihood of progress and success.
A strategy that focuses on the most notable goals is called Mental Contrast with Implementation Intent (MCII) and helps you avoid hitting immovable objects in the first place. Using MCII for the first time, says psychologist Katharina Bernecker of the University of Zurich, “it can help you set achievable goals and mentally prepare yourself for difficult situations.”
MCII was created by Gabriele Oettiningen, a research psychologist at New York University. She publishes it online as her WOOP (Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan). Tested in study after study, MCII has shown that it can achieve behavior change in a variety of areas, including education, health, and relationships. For the most part, it’s been used to help people persist, overcome obstacles, and reach goals, according to Ettingen. “It’s equally effective for actively moving away from a goal if the obstacle is perceived as insurmountable,” she says.
MCII works like this: People identify their hopes for a desired future. For example, becoming a doctor. They are happy to help oncologists save cancer patients, and they envision the best possible outcome. Then they think and imagine serious obstacles. For example, my grades in science are mediocre. They think and plan how to overcome obstacles. This may require getting a science tutor and studying harder. If, despite these measures, she is still unable to score higher than a C on her science course, another her MCII may help change her plans or course of action.
“Face these obstacles head-on,” says Ettingen, summarizing the strategy. “If you understand that something is insurmountable, or that another goal is more urgent than the present, you can say, ‘I’d rather run,’ and save a lot of resources. Then adjust your wishes.” , postponed to another time, or let go.”
MCII’s effects occur at all three levels: cognitive, emotional, and behavioral, she explains. Numerous studies have shown that it helps people stop planning for possibly futile goals. I am no longer able to invest.
Ettingen applauds the recent scientific focus on letting go. “Scientists are learning to better understand the process of goal release and how to help people who are plagued by goal blockage.
